When we are young children, adults around us will often teach good behaviour by using the word ‘should’. Here are a few examples.
You should brush your teeth every morning and every night.
You should wash your hands after you have been to the toilet
You should thank your friend for that nice present.
You should try to put on your shoes by yourself.
We learn to obey these shoulds because we like the smiley parent or the happy teacher faces.
This serves us well for years, while we add new shoulds regularly. But when adulthood dawns, it is so easy to automatically have a very long list of shoulds and just obey them automatically.
We are very aware of them and often try to ignore the quieter prompts of want, need or prefer.
It is good to re-examine that list of shoulds regularly and see how many of them you still believe. Some of them will still be relevant to your life now, but others don’t fit with the person you have become. Challenge them. Change them. Dump them.
Once you act according to your own needs, wants and preferences, whilst still having regard to those of others, you will no longer be a slave to old shoulds. This is a very life-enhancing exercise and I commend it to you.
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